Grace Said So

The secret to forgiving

The secret to forgiving: someone stole from you, lied against you or even betrayed your trust. That someone could have been your spouse, he or she may have done the unthinkable to you and you purpose within your heart to never (ever) forgive.  Yes, yes, I know the long list of ‘evil’ deeds someone we hold to heart dearly usually commits against you. Your thinking will be ‘why, why, why and how, how, how’. You spend your days living in a trance and your nights ruminating over the events…playing the ‘evil’ deed over and over in our minds. And still arrive at the judgement: this is too evil to be forgiven.

  1. STOP THINKING THE EVIL: Playing the ‘evil’ deeds over and over in your mind never ends your worry. And worrying thoughts will it continually give you if your mind dwells on it. Peace of mind only comes when we stop and turn (deliberately) away from and stop thinking of those evil deeds that have been done to you. 1 Peter 3:11 talks about turning away from evil, however, not just for the doer but for even the littlest thinking of it be it the doer or receiver…this is super cool to know.
  2. START THINKING GOOD: How can it be possible?!! Yes, it can. Once you stop thinking (as elaborated above), start thinking of the good you will do as pay back for the evil meted out to you. Impossible to believe, right? 1 Thessalonians 5:15 says, ‘make sure that nobody pays back wrong for wrong, but always strive to do what is good for each other and for everyone else.’ Repay evil with a blessing, according to 1 Peter 3:9. And that is how the circle of evil can be stopped. Romans 12: 17-21 has quite a lot to say about paybacks too.
  3. LOOK AT THE PERSON AS CHRIST WOULD: This was an ‘Eureka’ moment for me after I had suffered weeks of grinding thoughts of an ‘evil’ deed done to me. When I read that scripture, it just popped open my mind to see that I had suffered myself for just nothing. It was indeed very freeing to see 2 Corinthians 5:16, ‘so we have stopped evaluating others from a human point of view’.

Bottom line is stop the evil in your thoughts and mind, start the good in your mind and deeds and move away from looking at the person from a human point of view. And then will the relief come with letting go of the hurt. And then peace invades you.

Love from Nkoli.

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